Torn

"I messed up and I am sorry
I am in love with two
and when I seek God about it he said it wasn't you
In my head I was confused
Because all I knew is I wanted you but didn't know what to do
So I followed what God wanted me to do but in the end I hurt you
You are an eagle so spread your wings
Fly away and follow your dreams
Happiness is what I hope u will find
And the hurt between me and u leave behind"

I hate how life works out sometimes. But I have put my life in God's hands and what he says I will follow... But because every now and then I stray off and do what I want now myself and others have to pay... So now we both cry, we both hurt because I wanted to do my own way... But never again... God I don't want to hurt anyone again... So this time I will follow YOU and do as YOU say....

Your Heart

I wrote this poem back in "2006" and just wanted to share it with ya'll!

How can a heart take it

Cause it hurts so bad when it breaks

But loves feels so good

So when you see this guy you think to yourself "maybe I should"

Then the relationship goes up but then soon comes down

And that smile you once had turns into a frown

Even though it hurts so bad you don't want to let go

Because this guy you love so much you think u know

Now you have sleepless nights thinking about him

And every time the phone rings wishing it was him

Wondering if he's thinking about u

Asking yourself what did I do

Wanna say lets get back together after all we have been through

Now another girl has caught his eye

And u feel like your going to die

Now when he walks by he doesn't stop

Your heart feels like its going to drop

All you do is fight and and shout

You ask yourself is this what love is all about

Now you think to yourself this love thing you shouldn't dare

Cause now your heart feels like it cant be repaired

Trust

Trust:  –noun

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2. confident expectation of something; hope.

3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.

4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.

5. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

6. the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed: a position of trust.

7. charge, custody, or care: to leave valuables in someone's trust.

8. something committed or entrusted to one's care for use or safekeeping, as an office, duty, or the like; responsibility; charge.

Trust is something that you can not invest in everyone nor everything... As a child you trust almost every and anything... Normally our trust starts with our parents... This can be a good and bad thing... It's normally good but when you have a parent that lets you down after promising you something... This is what starts to create trust issues... As humans we all are on different trust levels which means you can not trust everyone....

Trust in friendship:

When you have a friend that you can trust this is a good thing... But within your friends you will soon find out what you can and can not tell some of them... But with friendship you get different thing from different people... So you wouldn't necessarily end a friendship because of trust... Well unless your friend just stabs you in the back and with that they never wanted anything good for you any how...


Trust in a relationship:

Well in a relationship trust is a VERY big thing... But your trust normally grows from the trust you had with your partner from your friendship... Without trust in a relationship you have no partnership... Trust is one of the biggest ending causes of relationships... So this is why you should know the person before you take your friendship and turn it into a partnership...


Rebuilding Trust:

This is something that is possible but very hard! To rebuild your trust it takes a lot of patience... This is why a lot of people just give up before the rebuilding is complete... But to rebuild trust it takes time and patience on both sides...
For the person that created the breach in trust: You have to understand that this person is trying to trust again but will take back slides time to time... But you have to be understanding and be sure to show how the past is the past and the future is where you should be looking...
For the person whose trust was been broken: Try to move forward... And although you still remember what has happened remember throwing the incident in the other persons face doesn't help the rebuilding process... But if you really want to continue any type of relationship with this person you have to move forward...

Make It Count

You should live today as if it was your last! Make today matter... All my life I have always wanted to give back... From feeding the homeless to my current job...

Before I started my family I always wanted to be a doctor... That is something that I loved and I am good at... And helping or saving one person at a time makes a big difference if we all did it. Then I decided to join the Coast Guard... Yes this helped me in more than one way but also I still give back... Without my job many would die... There is no better feeling than saving someone, helping someone in something when they had no where else to turn... As you go through your day make a difference... You never know who is looking at you or who u may influence...
Make a difference, make it count!!!

Sugar Daddy

I don't know about other girl but I know that I am naturally attracted to older guys... Now some girl like real old guys... I just cant do that after you are so much older to me it's like dating my dad...Yuck... But a guy has to be at least  4 to 6 years older than me... Older guys just know WAY more than these guys my age... They have been down the road and back again... And because I had to grow up faster  to take care of my responsibilities  I am on a higher maturity level.... Maybe I like older guys because I don't have to go through the learning stages with them or have to put in to much work on trying to mold him into the man I want him to be....  Younger dudes waste so much energy on dumb stuff... Who has an argument over nothing really ( young guys) Grow up already or deal with a younger girl and you might just be on the same intellectual level... But maybe something is wrong with me because as much as I hate dating guys younger than me I am on my second one in a  row... Maybe I am just trying something different.... But let me not put all the blame on the young dudes because you older men have your issues also... You'll like to hold onto what your ex did to you (But last I checked I wasn't her)... The older you get you are more set in your ways... So I guess its a lose lose situation.... Or maybe I shouldn't look at age because as humans we all have our issues and flaws....

Why???

http://imway2fat.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/fat-girl-tight-dress.jpg


So can someone please tell me why fat girl always squeeze into to little clothes? I really dont understand... I am not skinny myself and wearing to tight clothes hurt... They start cutting into places clothes are just not suppose to be... And what is the purpose of this because its so not cute... So question for the guys.... When is a girl to big to wear tight clothes??? Because as a woman we tend to judge women harder then needed...

Breaking Point

So this is a song that has been in my head for days!!! I am so loving it.... I love music that gets a good point across... There has been times in my life where I didn't have that limit... And when you don't have that limit it will break you in the end......For that I was hurt to the point I didn't know how to even deal with life.... Every bit of self esteem I had was gone.... But I will tell anyone that is going through this or has...  "There is light at the end of that tunnel".... But to all you woman please have that limit.... Men will do to you what you allow them to do... So no I am not saying that you shouldn't stand by your man through the good and bad.... But just know that what you do for him he would also do for you.... If a man loves you he will do right by you... So if he lies, cheats, beats you, etc.... He does not love you.... Because when you hit your breaking point you are already to low... This song is a good anthem for women that need to learn how to be strong...

Newbie

So I am new to this whole blog thing... But this may be good for me... The numerous things I deal with in my head I can now let out... These things will vary so much but may be very interesting to those who read it... Well there will be more to come.......